Not so Lucky News

I'm pretty urked at this very moment so please excuse the complaining....
I often hear, "trust your gut" and I failed to do that so here I am mad at the news. My new (well not so new) tumor is like a cm from the one they just removed. Given it's tiny but I was all set up to have an additional stronger MRI before surgery just to make sure nothing else was lurking....When the surgeons office called me and reasured me it was not necessary they would have been able to see any others on my previous test and they hadn't. I trusted there word over mine and I get to pay for it now. I think for now on if I feel like I need a test even if it's just to make myself comfortable I am SOOO going to just do it. I also was told about gamma knife in the event that this tumor grows and/or bleeds. I think I will start researching that now.
Since these tumors are so close I should not experience any new symptoms I hadn't with the last one and this area of my brain has a high threshold for seizures so lucky me I should be okay. I definitely will not torture myself with the wait game so here is to letting go and living life as if there is nothing lurking :)

Acne Secret

I've decided to write about something less depressing and whiney today yey! I woke up this morning to a fresh face and pores you could not see so I thought I would share my secret.
I have a history of acne and an even bigger history of spending lots of money and caking all different products on my face. Yes this does make it worse but I figured if I was being pro-active maybe it would eventually help. I have had light therapy to chemical peels to medicine oh and how could I forget the Accutane (the so called miracle drug). By the way Accutane works for maybe 6 months not forever and most people have long term effects from it so I advice AGAINST IT! So I finally got the bright idea of leaving my poor face alone. First I tried washing it only at night with soap and in the morning with just water but bacteria is bacteria. Even though my face was not as dry I would still get EVIL pimples. Then I was introduced to Mint Julep Mask (totally got it Walgreens) I think it was less then $5.00. Back to my secret... Shh...

I wash my face with very gentle face soap made for eczema (NeoStrata) and original Olay lotion (not the stuff with all sort of chemicals that claim to make you younger) and last but most important is the Queen Helena Mint Julep Mask 1x a week (preferably night before date night he.. he..). At First you might break out a little but this is just your poors starting to clear out so be patient. Come on you have been dealing with it this long why not wait a couple more days

In the words of my Biology teacher, "If your breaking out in your 20's and beyond chances are you are over washing your face".

2 in 25

I've been MIA since I was still recovering emotionally and physically from surgery. I am not exagerating when I say brain surgery was really traumatic for me. I'm still not over it and it has been 3 months. I have increasing headaches and severe neck pain. I convinced myself I had another CM growing in my cervical spine area so I asked for another MRI (I should probably lay off the radiation for the rest of the year). Of course my results came back with a curve ball I was so not prepared for hit me in the heart. Neck pain is easy I have a little disk situation and a cyst in between but brain situation not so easy... I have been diagnosed with yet another tumor but this time it's 2mm compared to the 2cm the last one was when they took it out. This one seems to be deeper which scares me but I'm 3 days post finding out and I feel at ease. This was a very tough situation to get diagnosed at my age but to find out I have 2 in one year has been pretty crappy. I read a blog the other day of someone who is in pain everyday and I had to stop and reflect because although I have headaches everyday it has been managable with medicine and rest. Yes  I have something growin in my head but instead of complaining I am going to be thankful each morning that I don't have seizures and I do not have the pain some illness can cause. Makes me even more thankful each day because 1 day I might not be so lucky to be free of the things that my mother and sister struggle with. So today I ask you to be thankful :) "Complaining is OK but try not to"

Failure and Success

I said I would keep updated on this post as I recovered and now I know why no one has done it. I could not even stay awake for more than 3 hours. The first 4 weeks after surgery and the pain plus pain meds only ads to the list. Once I started to be more coherent I would remember my blog but getting myself to click on the link and actually talk about what I was going through on paper was tough. I never imagined in a million years the pain and hurdles I would have to jump with such an "easy" tumor taken out of my brain. I had a cut from the middle of my head to in front of my ear and a black eye. The first couple of days the pain was unbearable. I often found myself lying in the dark with a black TV screen in front of me. I felt like doing absolutely nothing but sitting in complete silence. Anything noisy or TV was too much for me.
I had this idea I would get things done while I was on sick leave but guess again because all you can really do is sleep no matter how much you fight it. I was told my body would tell me when I needed to rest. I thought to myself "tell me?" really! Well I was surprised to find that your body really does "tell you". Complete with headaches, body pain and wherever you stand is where you will just decided to lay down.
One thing they forgot to tell me when I had surgery was I would not be able to open my mouth. In fact I started physical therapy for this last week and when we started I could only open my mouth 7mm. Average mouth opening of a woman is 45-50mm so I have some work to do! I'm now at about 25mm and continue to work everyday.
It took me 4 weeks to get back to work and here we are on week 6 and I am still recovering and working as much as I can. Finally Monday I felt the best I have felt since before surgery. I was awake with no headache and felt happy instead of depressed. I weaned myself off all the meds and I feel better than ever! Once you go through something like this you realize how much you take advantage of feeling good and being able to do things like go out with friends, enjoy family etc. Although I am in bed no later than 11pm and need at least 9 hours of sleep to feel good I would say I am making strides. I'm back to running again even if it is only .5 miles. I've made goals and I know as long as I strive for them I will be better than ever :)

Home after 1 day

28 hours after surgery and here I lie at home. I woke up at 3am with more pain and finally they switched meds and I told the doctor it was time to go home. By 5am we were hitting every expectation necessary to get me out. Foli out, walking- check, meds from I've to pill check, MRI check! So here I lie on pain meds in this char thankful to be out and home. Glue on my wound and bruised eye but I can handle all that. The tumor is out and I pray I never have another one. Everyone e has been so great to me including every single staff member at the hospital. I'm thankful for my family and my friends. Mike has been wonderful and everything I could ask of him.
I have no headache just this throbbing ear, jaw, and where stitches are. I can work through all of this with baby steps and support.

Day of surgery

I had surgery at 7:30am and out by noon. I woke up gagging despite the naseau meds and I felt like someone was taking a hammer to the operative area. No matter how much pain meds they gave me nothing would work. It's now 7pm and its a little better plus taking pain meds every hour probably is helping. My incision is actually pretty small and should be easy to cover. I have an awesome support system surrounding me . I'm having a very hard time writting this with being on Benadryl (can't sleep)

This is Not Me

On Friday I struggled to roll out of bed while my head had a very painful ache feeling (this is me and has been an ongoing problem for a while) however when it came time to figure out easy math it made no sense to me and it only got worse from there...
I swear I put my money in my purse but come to find out I left it where my purse sits at home; I got to the gas station and with only 5 people in the store I couldn't function it was too much noise; and the worst part of not being myself last Friday was when I played a scratcher and said outloud, "S.P.A that't not a word. My friend quickly replied, "Theresa that is Spa" and suddenly it came back to me. But to not even recognize a word made me sick to my stomach. I struggled through the day taking any kind of medicine I could to keep my headache at bay and by saturday I felt normal again.
Surgery is in 70 hours and I almost wish it were in 3.