Balance

I have found that when I am at my weakest I don't talk about it I don't write about it, I cry inside about it. If it's not one thing it's another and all my coping skills I had taught myself to manage I am having to re-teach myself a new way. This is by far my hardest semester in school and not just because I am dealing with my diagnosis and not because my Nana is on a health rollercoaster but because I am taking 3 science courses at the same time and I have never taken hard classes together.


Giving up is not an option so everyday I wake up trying to find balance. I have become a little more selfish then I used to be; putting myself in front of the needs of others. Some people are having a hard time understanding that and others don't know what to make of it but if I don't worry about me right now my scale is going to tip and every piece of effort I have maintained through this ordeal is going to tumble over. My grandparents have always been the reason why I keep on going down the path I'm on and always striving for something better. They are what matters and they understand where my time is and should be. It's all about maintaining balance!

As for my diagnosis my headaches are still getting worse they start at 3pm and last until sometimes 8:30pm. This makes it extremely difficult for studying. I have gotten a lot more restless no matter how much sleep I get. I started taking vitamins and making sure I reach all my food groups but still my exhaustion is getting the best of me. I'm still waiting for Barrow Neurology to call me and schedule an appointment with a new Neurologist (3 weeks now) but still no call back. Apparently the doctors are the ones to review the file and decide if you are a good candidate to be their patient (which I am all for because then I know the doctor is all about me and knows what I am going through) So since the squeaky wheel gets the grease I better call them again. Maybe just maybe this doc will be able to help get me through this semester. Approximately 79 days to surgery and this semester being completed. I suppose I should reward myself after this semester but not sure how to reward myself for getting through something I never thought I would be able too.