Injection 1

I wanted to document my recovery and in doing so that brings the bad ugly and good out of me to write it and let it go of it. It also gives people going through the same thing something to relate to. When I first found out all I've done is research and research and search for people who I could relate to. As you know I've had on going problems with severe head pain over the course of this year more so after brain surgery. I have tried over 16 medications from muscle relaxers pain medicine to neuro numbing medicine.. Worst situation is finding out pain medicine can actually give u worse headaches when that is all I have found that works at times when I'm in so much pain I wish to be in a hospital bed with morphine running through my veins.
My neurologist suggested I see a pain specialist that we had run out of options but I felt like that was my very last straw. However it was time to take the leap and after much research and talking with mi familia I decided it could not hurt to try.
First injection today was test to see it a little steroid medicine injection into my occipital and orbital nerves would at least ease my pain for a couple hours. I stuck with the decision NOT to get sedated for 2 reasons. 1 being how would I know if it was working if I'm all foggy and 2 being I have had brain surgery and to me NOTHING gets worse than brain surgery. It stung like a motha occipitally but otherwise I was able to bare the pain. Once I was done my head my tongue and my neck felt numb and I went from a level 4 pain to a 0! Now once the adrenaline of the painful injection wore off I had a little achy headache but otherwise just sick to my stomach from nerves. It's been 4 hours since the shot, she said it would probably only last a couple hours. My head feels like it wants to hurt but it's not allowed. Like my heart beats with my head but no pain with it. The injections sites are starting to become sore but that is also normal and okay to me.
I have decided I will go for the more permanent injection shot in 2 weeks. Wouldn't it be miraculous if I felt like myself again!?!

THIS person THAT person

I have always been outgoing, happy, loving, active person until I found out about my tumor. I let my headaches get the best of me because I knew they weren't just headaches anymore. I let them open my brain so that I wouldn't take the chance of having seizures or continued pain in my head. I wanted to be back to my active happy loving self but instead I'm THIS PERSON! I'm selfish I'm tired I'm cranky as my head hurts to the point where some days I can't even make it out of bed (rare but reality) THIS is the person I never wanted to be. At work we read everyday about people using pain as an excuse just to get money or pain meds and attention. Sometimes I feel like maybe this is what's really happened to me ...until I get that very real very raw pain in my head where I can't get up and if I want to u have to turn to the medicine. I want to be THAT person I used to be where I never let anyone or anything stop me again. But until a doctor addresses my problem and actually wants to help besides telling me this is normal. THIS Is the new me that I dislike and will try everyday to overcome.

Bored

Day 5 of laying on my back still waiting for my spine to stop leaking spinal fluid. I thought today was the day so I woke up laid in the sun then talked myself into well...more like couldn't talk myself out of getting Starbucks. So I ventured to drive myself to Bashes for Starbucks and milk.
Everyone was staring at me and I knew It wasn't because I was glam because I hadn't taken a shower and frankly today I don't give a ish but then I realized they were staring from the black and blue needle marks up and down my arms (no guys I'm not a needle freak) but what do they care if I've been in agony for days they just need something to gossip about so... I was still thriving and my spinal headache just started to kick in so I took advantage and made my way to jack n the box. Call me greedy but my body made sure I knew I screwed up by the time I had to do 60 miles an hour to get home without throwing up in my pretty car.
So I'm back on my back and honestly the Starbucks wasn't even worth it!
I've planned my next manicure, haircut and fall wardrobe thanks to Pinterest now if some day I could get out of bed to actually wear these clothes and get my hair did.
Brings me back to the lecture of maybe this is what got me here in the first place from overdoing it. I need to drill in my own head this is a new me i have to give myself time to be back to the old me previous to brain surgery.

Headaches Migraines and Spinal Taps OH MY!

I switched birth control pills with the educated assumption that these migraines I've been left with were not from surgery but the hormones. I got the flu then the migraine and my educated guess was not so educated. Riddled with head pain I thought I could no longer bear, a fever and a disappearing bump (disappears when it feels like it) my regular doc felt it was time for the ER.
A ct scan and spinal tap and later I lay in bed with a spinal headache and still Absolutely no answers except maybe I'm still recovering from surgery 6months later.
I can't sit for more than 10 minutes without getting the rushing head pain that feels like my head will pop off my shoulders and vomit will spray out of my mouth.
The 6 more pokes from the hospital visit yesterday which said a blood patch works for 90% of people tells me I'm the 10% that's screwed!!!
So here I am back in bed praying that the next time I sit up my head won't explode. Pretty sure the regular migraines I endure will be cupcakes compared to this head pain. Sure hope my awesome work ethic pays off while I'm not visible in the office I sure need to keep my job dear brain.