Dr. Bad News

On three hours of sleep it was time to start my day. It was pretty normal day besides the whole three hours of sleep I got (but well worth the fun the night before). I got an MRI during lunch break and by the time 4:00pm hit I was starting to feel dilerious and was ready to go home and crawl in bed next to my boyfriend. On my way home my phone rang and all I heard was:

Dr.: This is Doctor Bad News

Me: Okay

Dr: I have your results already

Me: Okay...

Dr.: You do have a tumor and it is a Cavernous Malformation

After that I felt like I was driving through a tunnel and the last thing I remember hearing is "your headaches will get worse and I will see you at your next appointment".
See, I grew up with my older sister and mother having seizures and multiple surgeries. I had a very close relationship with my father and we were more a like then not. We did not have seizures and we both loved sports. Even though I was told to get an MRI I never thought in a thousand years that I would ever be diagnosed. I went several years without getting an MRI and after taking a Biology class in College I decided I was more interested in if I carried the gene that causes these tumors.
I have had frequent headaches that gradually have gotten worse but keep in mind that I am a full-time student and work full-time so that is pretty common. When I was told the MRI would cost me $500 out-of-pocket I declined the test and decided if I ever have symptoms like seizures I would get tested. Yes I'll spend $500 on shoes but an MRI, that does not look pretty on my feet! Well... think again Theresa, because parents know best and my grandfather, who did most of my child rearing, was not going to allow me to skip on this test.
Once Dr. Bad News hung up the phone my world fell out of my eyes about 10 tears at a time. Immediately I called my boyfriend and instead I got Officer Boyfriend who immediately calmed me down. I'm not sure of his exact words but pretty sure it was basically "get over it, you don't have symptoms yet". You might think that is harsh but next time you have a life changing event trying to drive you would be glad to have a blunt stable voice on the other side of the phone even though he just received the worst news with you.
I barely remember getting home through that tunnel but once I was home I tried to sleep it off. After more tears and every time I would wake up I would feel like I just woke up from a nightmare but NOPE it was reality. I really did have a tumor and I was going to have to deal with it ready or not.
Since I've grown up with these tumors I am very familiar with what they are and how they work. I suppose this gives me one leg up on accepting my diagnosis and getting over it. I am very used to taking care of everyone else in my life and now the only change is I'm the one who has the tumors now and am going to have to take care of myself instead of everyone else. So appointments have begun to be scheduled and I will follow the yellow brick road on this adventure that God decided I was strong enough to get through.