Thankful

When I called to make my appointment for surgery she asked how soon I wanted to have it done. Assuming since people flock from around the world to see Dr. Spetzler, he wouldn't be able to get me in for a couple of weeks I said as soon as possible. The voice on the other side of the phone responded, "how about next week?". Ummm... I think it is finally setting in and that is way too soon for me to get prepared. Not only am I scared to death but the only way for me to manage that stress is plan. Plan if something happens to me all my wishes and who will watch me and help me through this. My favorite thing about this is my Nina (who literally is my angel) offered to fly my father in for a week to take care of me and stay with me in the hospital. This is extremely meaningful to me because as I mentioned in a previous blog, me and my dad are best friends. When my sister was in the hospital she had my mom while I stayed at home with my dad. So now even though I will be the one in the hospital I will still have my daddy. On another note I will have my family, my best friends, my Tia and boyfriend when I wake up. Each one has played such an important role in walking with me through this yellow brick road. My best friends (Angie, Heidi, Heather) have accompanied me to doctor’s appointments and helped me on paper, emotionally and physically get to this point. My Tia has allowed me to be selfish and sacrificed her own selfishness to take care of my grandparents and also be by my side through this. Also I know she will be the one to take care of me when it's time for my dad to leave and I get released from the hospital. I have been fortunate to be raised by each part of my fathers family but extremely fortunate that I have had my Tia Lisa, my Nana and my Tata. We have each others backs no matter what and being in the same house for so long day in and day out has made us that much closer.

As for my boyfriend, (by the way calling him my boyfriend sounds so underrated) has been my rock. We have not always been so strong together. We have gone through letting immature people pretend to be our friends, butt heads and argue over who will wear the pants :) but that led us to being powerful together. We met 2 years ago on the 27th of this month and officially started dating 2 years ago 5 days after my surgery but you would never know that we haven't been best friends for life. He knows what I'm feeling before I feel it. He knows what will make me strong and all of our memories together make it much easier for me to run away from being petrified and be in a blissful place.
I know that no matter how I come out of surgery in 14 days that these people will never turn their backs on me and never let me turn my back on myself.